Is There A Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Personality?

Have you ever wondered if certain types of people are more likely to get multiple sclerosis (MS) than others? Are people with MS generally kinder and more driven than others? Let’s explore the common MS personality traits. You might even recognize some of these traits in yourself!

Personality and Disease

You might have heard that certain personalities are more prone to specific diseases. For example, some studies suggest that people with cancer may have experienced a significant loss or grief before their diagnosis. They may also be extremely giving, always putting others first and avoiding conflict.

Heart disease has also been linked to personality types. While the old “Type A” label isn’t entirely accurate anymore, there are still very clear characteristics that are common in people with heart disease. 

So is there a multiple sclerosis (MS) personality?

What is Personality?

To begin this discussion, we must first understand the question, ‘What is personality?’  To start, personality is not “just the way I am!” though it might feel like it.  Instead, personality is the stress-coping strategies and motivators that influenced our behaviors in childhood.  With time, these behaviors, coping strategies, and motivators become stable.

For example – were you motivated to do things right, to make others happy, and to not be too emotional for fear of upsetting your parent? These motivators would influence how you behaved in childhood and how you behave today as an adult. You weren’t born this way, you learned to be this way.

As we grow up, these personality traits become stable, and we are no longer aware we do them, just like learning to drive a car. Once you’ve learned and done it enough times, it can become habitual, and you drive without much of an awareness that you are doing it.

Similarly, we repeat these patterns so often that they become unconscious, out of our awareness, and automatic. 

Adaptations

When we face stressful situations as children, we learn to cope in whatever way is most appropriate. These behaviors kept us safe, accepted, and loved.

And these patterns are not your identity.  These are adaptations to childhood situations and stressors that might or might not be appropriate as an adult.

“Adaptations that help you survive the immediate stress in childhood become sources of pathology later on.  They are unconscious.  No one chooses to behave in these ways.”  Gabor Mate “When the Body Says No”

Unless you get a wake-up call of some sort to modify these adaptations, such as multiple sclerosis, you’ll continue to respond to work, relationships, yourself, and most everyday situations in the same way you used as a child.

How are the Multiple Sclerosis Personality Traits Formed?

Interestingly enough, the personality traits that helped you cope with childhood situations and traits that were admired and encouraged in childhood are the ones that later become multiple sclerosis.

What!?

Common Personality Traits in People with MS

Let’s look at the traits most common to the MS Personality to understand how these admired and encouraged traits become problematic later in life. 

“Much of what we call personality is not a fixed set of traits, only coping mechanism a person acquired in childhood.” – Gabor Mate

• High Achievers: Many people with MS were excellent students and dedicated workers (giving 110% to everything).
• Independent: They learned never to ask for help, no matter how hard they struggled.
• Caring: They are often great helpers, always willing to lend a hand and sacrifice.
• Good Listeners: They ‘parented’ at an early age. They might have had a parent who needed their emotional support.
• Emotionally Restrained: They were careful with their emotions, avoiding displays of anger or any sort of weakness.

In the chart above, you can see some of examples of how some of the multiple sclerosis personality traits are developed. 

The Downside of Strengths

While these traits of the MS personality can be strengths, they can also create chronic stress. For example:

• The Pursuit of Success: The drive to always do well can become a never-ending to-do list. You might constantly feel like you need to achieve more and do better.
• Extreme Independence: Never asking for help, even when needed, might cause you to try to do everything yourself. This can result in taking on too much responsibility.
• Always Helping Others: Always putting others’ needs first can lead to neglecting your own well-being. You might not even realize you have needs until your body forces you to slow down.
• Repressing Emotions: Suppressing emotions can lead to a disconnect from your feelings. You might not even recognize when you’re angry or upset. Consequently, you might not notice when someone is not good for you because you’ve learned to shut off your internal radar.

How MS Can Help

As corny as it sounds, in some ways, MS can be a teacher. It can force you to make changes you didn’t know you needed. It can help you become more aware of your needs and prioritize self-care.

It can also point to the resources that need developing, such as boundaries, expressing your needs, and learning to delegate rather than push yourself to exhaustion.

Creating Balance of the MS Personality through NLP

One way to create balance and build resources is by using change tools such as neurolinguistic programming (NLP). In NLP, there are several presuppositions that help us understand that these traits served a purpose at a particular time in our lives.

“Every behavior is useful in some context.”

“Behind every behavior is a positive intention.”

NLP also provides us with the tools to change them.

What’s more, in NLP, symptoms of MS are not considered failures or something broken:

“There is no such thing as failure, just feedback”

“Symptoms are a communication about needed action.”