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Do You Feel Guilty for Having MS?

December 22, 2020 By Eva Clark Leave a Comment

Do you feel guilty for having MS? Or for the things that you can’t do because your multiple sclerosis restricts you? This is a very common feeling with MS, and it can plague you daily.  That is why in this month’s series, we are going to look at guilt directly and find ways to change how we feel about having MS.

What is Guilt?

Guilt is a very uncomfortable feeling, similar to shame. It comes on when we want to do something, and we are not able to.  What is important to understand, though, is:

Guilt is a demonstration of how important something is to you.  How much you value it.

You can’t feel guilty about things you don’t care about.  So when you are feeling guilty for having MS or for the things you can’t do because of its limitations, begin with the question:

What Values Are Not Being Met?

values and MS

Most, if not all those I’ve worked with that have been diagnosed with MS, value helping others. They have a strong need to be independent and not ask for help.  They have the drive to show how much they are worth and are very professional. And the majority strive to do the best they can in everything, even to the point of being perfectionists (or at least steering as far away from failure as humanly possible).

And yet, their multiple sclerosis doesn’t allow them to accomplish these values in the way they have all their lives.

Instead, because of their multiple sclerosis, they have to be guided by other values that had never been as important to them until now.

What Values Do You Need to Follow Because of MS?

shame and MS

Because of MS, it’s necessary to practice self-care.  You must face reality and logic and only do what is possible (and not more). It’s necessary to think long term.  Manage your energy. If you use up all your energy in the morning doing laundry, you can forget doing anything later in the day.  MS makes it necessary to stop multi-tasking and, instead, focus on one thing and find the easiest route. As frustrating as that may sound, if you re-read this paragraph, wouldn’t you say those values are healthy?

Do You Feel Guilty for Having MS?

If you feel guilty for having MS, you are trying to meet your most important values but are forced to meet your body’s values instead. So what can you do to let go of the guilt? Why not try to do both?

What Can You Do To Meet Both Values Sustainably?

values multiple sclerosis

By combining the values, you can develop different ways of doing things that accomplish what you value most while doing the things your body values.  Here are some examples:

  • Instead of doing physical work to help others, I could help others by really listening and acknowledge them so that they feel confident about themselves.
  • Rather than struggling to do everything independently when I physically can’t. I can be responsible for getting the professional help I need to get it done.
  • Instead of working 14 hours-days to prove to others that I have worth, I can focus on others and show them how valuable they are.
  • Instead of relying on my memory, I can practice using my phone calendar and reminders.
  • Rather than helping my family paint the house, I can be present and make sure they take breaks every few hours and drink plenty of liquids.

Value Health and Self-Care

Though multiple sclerosis is a challenge, it is teaching you to put yourself first and prioritize health.  Perhaps, that’s not a bad thing!

“Sometimes you fall down because there is something down there that you are supposed to find.” -proverb.

 

I hope you enjoyed this month’s presentation.  To watch more of our presentations, visit our Creating Health series.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Coronavirus and MS – Do MS drugs make you more vulnerable?

March 26, 2020 By Eva Clark Leave a Comment

In these times of uncertainty, there are many questions in our minds. Coronavirus and MS – Do MS drugs make you more vulnerable?  Does having MS make you more susceptible to the virus? In this month’s series, we interview Andrea Covolo of the MS Society. In this video, she gives us information on MS and COVID-19, where to find information on the effects of different MS drugs on the immune system and coronavirus, and how to stay safe.

Coronavirus and MS – Where to get the most accurate information?

Andrea Covolo, manager of program implementation and engagement talked to us about programs available online and our most pressing issue – MS and the coronavirus. She encouraged us not to search on social media or google concerning MS and coronavirus, but, instead, to look for sources that can accurately vet the information out there, such as the MS Society’s resource pages.
Learn where to find the best information on MS drugs and corona, programs available and how those diagnosed with multiple sclerosis compared to the general population through the following links:
  • Link to the Corona Virus Updates (click here). This resource is provided by the MS Society. It is ever-changing as updates become available.
  • Disease Modifying Treatment Guidelines (click here) for MS and Coronavirus.
  • YouTube link to the Facebook Live MS Society program – Pathways to a Cure (click here)
  • RealTalk MS Podcast: Jon Strum talks to Dr. Abbey Hughes (click here) about the Coronavirus (COVID-19) and what people living with multiple sclerosis should and shouldn’t be doing

This presentation was recorded in our monthly Creating Health Series. To learn more about what is affecting your immune system and your body’s health, watch these other presentations on what causes MS, and the physical and mental factors behind it.

To get our newest presentations when they get published, consider signing-up to our series.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Cure to MS

December 8, 2019 By Eva Clark Leave a Comment

cure-ms

When I first started working with multiple sclerosis (MS), I was like everyone else – I thought I could find that one ingredient / that one super technique that could cure MS.  In my hypnotherapy studies, we had learned how to remove allergies in one session.  Could we do the same with MS?  Could I find the super technique that could make it all better again? That became my mission – find the cure to MS.

And along the way, I learned.  I learned from modern science, from functional medicine, from Chinese medicine, from other practitioners that I interviewed and that presented in the Creating Health series, and primarily through my sessions with my clients with MS:

Multiple Sclerosis is a complex group of causes and those causes can not be solved by a silver bullet.

The bee sting therapy, strict almost impossible diet, or the newest drug is not the solution.  The solution is resolving the layers and layers of causes that broke the camel’s back (camel referring to your mental, physical, and spiritual body).

To heal the ‘camel,’ we need to change how we do life – how we eat, how we sleep and rest, and, how we relate to others and ourselves.

Healing is a process.  It is not an on/off switch.  And that is a good thing because you don’t have to get stressed out worrying that you won’t find the right way to heal! You are on the right path the minute you set your intention that you are going to address those layers. There is so much that you can do to help your mental, physical and spiritual body return to health.  No two paths are the same, and yet no two paths disregard any of the layers that created the perfect storm that culminated in MS.

So where to start?

The Cure to MS

The cure to MS is no different than the cure to cancer.  Expect it to be hard, scary and, most importantly transformational.  How many of us heard someone say “Cancer is the best thing that could ever have happened to me?”  Yep, that’s where we are going with MS as well. In Kelly Turner’s book “Radical Remission” she speaks of the ingredients common to people that have cured cancer and other incurable diseases. The main keys being:

  1. Consider the diagnosis/disease as a teacher.  Welcome it.  It is there to help you heal (in the greater sense of the word not just a physical cure).
  2. Take agency.  Be in charge of your own healing.  The practitioners you work with will help you help yourself.  Don’t give them the responsibility or power to cure your MS.  You and your body will be in charge of that.
  3. Connect to something greater than yourself.  You are not alone.

So if you are willing to take the journey, consider visiting all the information we have gathered through our Creating Health series.  If you would like to have individual one-on-one sessions to address your particular needs, consider the Healing Multiple Sclerosis Program.

Healing Multiple Sclerosis Program

If you have any questions or want to find out if this program is a good fit for you call me at (+1) 415 699-2574 (I have FaceTime and WhatsUp for those outside the US) or email me to set up a consultation.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

MS and Our Genes

October 24, 2019 By Eva Clark Leave a Comment

MS and our genes. We oftentimes wonder if genetics has anything to do with MS. What if it does in more ways than we assume? What if a part of the genetics that brought multiple sclerosis into your life was because of not attending the most basic genetically encoded needs essential to health?

To begin to consider how our needs influence the onset and progression of MS, let’s look at what we think we need to do to heal and where we think healing is:

When someone comes into my office, they usually come in with a request, “I want to heal this.  I want my life back. Therefore, I want you to get rid of my symptoms.”

With this mindset, what people believe and Matt Kahn expressed very well in one of his talks:

“People think that Healing is when I get what I want.”

But the thing is when we get what we think we want, it might not be what our bodies want. Getting what we think we want sometimes looks a little bit like this:

ms-and-our-genes

There is a body-mind conflict that is perpetuating illness: The body got sick because it was (and is) not receiving what it genetically needs, and the mind needs everything to go back to how it was.

Healing the Body, Healing the Mind

To explore what is healing, let’s begin by looking at what it is not:

  • It is not getting your old life back
  • It’s not focusing on eliminating symptoms.

Because if you return to where you were right before the symptom starts, you’re returning to where the symptoms were generated (the body-mind connection conflict). You’re returning right back into the ingredients that caused the illness. So if healing the body-mind isn’t what you want, then what is it?

Healing is Meeting Our Genetic Needs

So what exactly is a need? This is quotes from the Webster dictionary:

“A need is a physiological or psychological requirement for the wellbeing of an organism.”

What does that mean? It means it is the physical (bodily) and the psychological (mental) requirements an organism needs to be well. And this doesn’t only apply to psychosomatic illness but physical disease as well. This relationship has already been proven in modern science:

Psychoneuroimmunology and Healing

The science that studies the relationship between mental states and physical health is called psychoneuroimmunology.  The science describes and demonstrates how our bodies have three systems – the psyche, the nervous system, and the immune system that work together for the wellbeing of the body and mind.

“Unfortunately, most psychologists treat the mind as this disembodied thing not related to the body, and most physicians treat the body as if there is no relationship with the mind or emotions. The body and the mind are not separate and we cannot treat one without treating the other.” Dr. Candace Pert M.D.

That is why when someone says, “Well, what does hypnosis have to do with healing my symptoms? I’m dealing with a physical thing!” and they feel insulted that I might be implying that their multiple sclerosis or other physical diseases they are not linking the mind with the body. What I am offering is to work with the psychological factors that lead to physical illness.  Medical hypnotherapy works on this body-mind relationship.

Genes and MS – The Needs of the Body

So what are the needs of the body-mind? Many of us are already well aware of the physiological needs such as healthy foods and exercise, but what are those psychological requirements that this organism called our bodies has for its wellbeing?

These fundamental physiological needs are defined in Reality therapy/Choice theory as our genetically encoded needs. Reality therapy mainly studies mental health, but these needs also influence our physical health. If we don’t have these needs fulfilled, it will affect our bodies and our minds. So when pondering about MS and genes, consider your genetically encoded needs.

Our Genetically Encoded Needs

What do you think ‘genetically encoded means’? Needs that are necessary and unavoidable.  We can’t say,”Others need that, but I’m ok without it” (though many of my clients believe that).

1 – To feel safe

You might have already noticed how your symptoms act up when you don’t feel safe. Even when we just got a promotion in our jobs, we might fear not being good enough and losing it, or getting a divorce we want but still fearing what will happen to us and where will we live.

2 – To belong and to be loved

A lot of us struggle with this one, and we try to overcompensate this one by trying to be likable to everyone, being the best, being useful, and always saying yes. Wee struggle with finding ways to feel we belong and usually loose our abilities to be authentic (number four).

3 – To feel in control / to feel capable

If you feel helpless and pray someone out there will find a cure for your MS, you are not feeling in control or capable of taking care of yourself.  That is why this attitude is not healthy. When we feel out of control or that our lives are going a little crazy, our symptoms can act up and progress. We need to feel we have some control over our health and our bodies and minds. We try to overcompensate by over-controlling our environment, our schedules, and the people around us.  What we truly need is to become responsible for our own health and our own lives.

4 – To be Independence / Freedom

Being codependent and not having our own opinions can affect our physical health because we need to have some sense of independence and freedom to choose in our life. Even if it’s just freedom of thought or one thing you do on your own that isn’t family-related or children related, but something that’s yours, you can begin to meet this need.

5 – To have fun and joy

Many clients wrestle with this one. The need to have joy. Think of other mammals –  Dogs jump around, wrestle and play catch, cats have fun harassing the dog, lions have fun playing with their cubs, dolphins have fun jumping out of the water, birds have fun soaring in the wind, squirrels have fun chasing each other… Why do we think, “It’s selfish / there is too much to do to have fun”? Review that sense of guilt if you stop doing tasks and have a little fun. That’s not okay. We are genetically encoded to have fun.

Getting Your Genetically Encoded Needs Met

So, in summary, our genetically encoded needs influence our bodies and our minds’ health. When your symptoms are acting up, ask yourself, “Which genetically encoded needs are not being met?”

Healing the Body-Mind Connection

Healing through the body-mind connection is about getting our needs met, and therefore it’s not selfish to have them; it’s necessary.

 

Filed Under: Creating Health Series, Uncategorized

Resources for MS

Resources for MS

This presentation, Resources for MS, was inspired by one of the questions in our self-help group regarding how to apply for disability. The person who brought it up didn’t even know where to start. And the second was because a local company, LifeSpan, wanted to come to the group and do a presentation so that people would know what kind of help is available locally. And so, this blog and presentation, is focused on what resources are out there for MS.

Get the Right Resources

If you want to get optimum results and if you’re going to have quality of life, you need to know, “What is my support system? Who is on my team?” Knowing you have support is actually good for your health. One of the things that influence health negatively is the feeling that you’ve lost control, are feeling helpless, hopeless, and alone. Thus, having a strategy, having resources and support, knowing who is there for you when you’re having a bad moment, is good for your health. And there are a lot of different resources out there. These resources will build your personal health team. Just as any successful company needs to have strong teams with plenty of resources; you too need to have a strong team behind you supporting your journey into healing multiple sclerosis.

You can download the powerpoint here: Resources-for-multiple-sclerosis.pdf

Associations

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society

The National MS Society (NMSS) has what is called the Navigators. Navigators are trained professionals that can help you navigate any of your concerns and questions regarding living with MS. They are there if you have any doubts, employment conflicts, want to get disability or have concerns regarding insurance. Even questions, such as “Is this an MS symptom?” Navigators are also there to support you when you have a really bad day, to help you find healthcare providers, and walk you through insurance options. They’re even there to help you when you have financial challenges.

NMSS also provide wellness strategies. They have begun to focus on quality of life programs, and that is a good thing because removing a symptom but worsening your quality of life is not an acceptable treatment. Right now, they are starting to do a lot more research on wellness, diet, and nutrition, and even stem cells.

Multiple Sclerosis Foundation (MS Focus)

The MS Foundation has great grants. The MS Foundation has a lot of assistance for those without insurance. For example, assistance to return home after a hospital stay, and grants for mobility devises, and vehicle modifications.  They can also asist you if you are uninsured and need a visit and follow up and can help with copay. They even have emergency assistance grants if you can’t pay your rent. If you are in a stressful pinch, they are there to help.

MS Association of America

The MS Association of America (MSAA) can also provide help with some equipment, like cooling gear. They can also provide MRI funding for those that have no medical insurance or cannot afford their insurance costs and require the exam to help determine a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis or evaluate current MS disease progression. They offer a free App – the MS Manager. The app is a good way to track how you’re doing, symptoms, check activity levels, and store health information.

MS Can Do

The MS Can Do was initially called the Jimmy Heuga Center for Multiple Sclerosis. What I like about his work and what this association does is that they are all about whole-person health. They don’t only look at physical health but also psychological as well. That have many webinars. They even have a webinar on cannabinoids, gut health, and leaky gut. Additional they have live two-day programs.

The Rocky Mountain MS Center

The Rocky Mountain has updated information on MS. They have a a monthly newsletter, eMS News, that contains the latest research and information on clinical trials. They offer many educational programs. One is there programs is MS 101, which gives you a lot of information for those recently diagnosed regarding multiple sclerosis that your doctor, in your short meeting, just cannot appointments.

Your Medical Team

Additionally, you need to think about your medical team. Who is your doctor? It’s essential that you feel supported. Think about this – if you are a project manager and the MS consultant on your team is saying things like, “This isn’t going to work. You will only get worse. There is nothing you can do.” is that the kind of consultant you want on your team? Is that going to make your team think outside the box and figure out what you need to successfully heal your MS?

If your doctor is very negative and is not giving you any hope, any resources, and any support in researching options out there; you might want to find another doctor.

MS Support Groups

“The proliferation of support groups suggests to me that too many Americans are growing up in homes that do not contain a grandmother…”
— Florence King

Support Groups are like grandmothers. They can be there for you, listening and without judgment. They’ve been there; they’ve seen it all. And that is what Support Groups, like the MS Support Group of Santa Cruz that provides these Creating Health classes, can do for you.

An Integral Team

ms-teamWith MS, there is a lot that is going on in your body and mind. And there is a lot that you can do. If you only have one doctor using standard medical procedures, you aren’t going to have many options open nor address all that can be affecting your body. There is so much more than you can do to help your body feel safe, healthy, and energized, and help your mind mentally stay on track, release stressors, and stay motivated to succeed. These include functional medicine doctors and nutritionists, acupuncture, massage therapists, home & caretakers, and coach, therapists, or hypnotherapist that can help you stay on track, motivated, and work through the psychosocial factors behind the disease.

Your Support Buddy

Ultimately, who is your support buddy? You don’t need to have your whole family on board, but you do need to have that one person or those few people in your life – a friend, a neighbor, your aunt, your sister – someone in your life that, when you’re down, they are there for you. Someone you don’t feel like you can’t tell them how bad you feel because they wouldn’t be able to take it. You want to have that go-to person or group of people you can speed dial and say, “I feel crummy!” Know who that person is. Put them on speed dial and don’t think you are the only person in the world that doesn’t need anyone (that’s an MS personality trait!)

Have a Strong Resource System

“If you strive to make a big change that other’s haven’t made; you’ll need to take greater steps than others have done.” Eva M Clark

This quote was inspired by one of the people I interviewed that had been successful with her MS. She commented, “You know, everyone talks about it. Oh yeah, I want to heal this; I want to cure this…but no one takes the steps.” If you strive to make a big change that others haven’t made, you are going to have to have the resources and support you need – the team you need –  to take a much greater step than most, and be successful.

resources-for-ms

As a medical hypnotherapists, I am all about the strength of the mind and how it leads the body to self-heal. If you believe you have the tools to bring your body back to health – you have resources, researched strategies, learned what can be needed – and feel that, yes, I am going to keep going until I figure this out, congratulate yourself.  You are ahead of most people and already halfway there!

 

This video was recorded at the National MS Society Self-Help MS Group in Santa Cruz, CA. If you would like to receive our blogs and videos in your inbox each month, please sign up for our newsletter.  Don’t be left behind. There is help.

For individual sessions to create your personal journey back to health and become symptom-free of MS, don’t hesitate to call me at (415) 699-2574 or contact me here.

If you are following the series, Creating Health Multiple Sclerosis, please share your experience with others. Let’s do this together!

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Your Road Map to Health

Getting diagnosed with MS can be scary and overwhelming.  There is a lot of information out there. This website brings together the key factors to focus on to help your body heal. You will find a lot of resources on this site to address them.

Additionally, I offer individual sessions to help you work through the psychological and social factors behind your MS. Feel free to call me at +1 (415) 699-2574 or contact me to set up your appointment in person or through video-conferencing.

About Eva M Clark

Eva is a medical hypnotherapist, health coach, and NLP master practitioner specialized in Multiple Sclerosis. She is currently doing her PsyD in Health Psychology. Read More…

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